Flex Aid
By Charlie on Oct 12, 2009 in Hearing & Orthepedic
Will you read my poem?
What do you think?
The fallen angel flexed her wings
Musing over her descent
She took in all the earthly beings
Seething at their malcontent
Ripped from dazzling paradise
Her noxious thoughts a damning sin
Now damned to this new brutal life
Her anger bubbled from within
Vengeance was her condemnation
And she would twist it to her aid
This all consuming black fixation
This reckless choice that He had made
Unleash her on his precious flock?
He’d spent too long among the clouds
Unruly beasts, they ran amok
Covered in their doubting shrouds
She’d make it simple for them then
She’d pave their path straight into hell
The most corrupted genus; men
Would have a worthy tale to tell
Her beauty and her mystic wit
Would aid her on this darkest quest
They would deviate from holy writ
Will the human race withstand her test?
one small point – “she’d pave their path straight to hell” – it may sound better for the meter
other than that
wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wooowwwwwww – this piece worked so well, it flowed beautifully, the images it evokes are brilliant, and the whole idea is beyond imaginitive
you clearly have A LOT of talent and you prove that in each syllable of this poem
i think you should think of joining GotPoetry.com – that site helps all kinds of poets to develop in skill and you can read works by other people (i’m on it under the username Awkward) – and i’d love to read more of your pieces – and i’m not saying this because you liked my poem
this piece took my breath away and its been hard to do that lately
keep writing because YOU are definitely more than a breath of fresh air but a whole beam of light
beauitful piece poppy
well done – you should be very proud of yourself 
and you definitely have me as a fan
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